BATHROOM
ETIQUETTE EPISODE 4 HANGING OFF A WHITE WALL AT THE CORNER WHERE IT MEETS A LIME GREEN WALL, A BATHROOM SIGN WITH BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ICONS IS OVERSHADOWED BY THE NEON PINK ALL GENDERS SYMBOL OF A CIRCLED TRIANGLE.


SETTING: Khi Mao Kitchen
SCENE: Casual Thai FSR
LOCATION: Strip-mall, Suburbs
DAY: Sunday
TIME: Evening

FOH STAFF: Bartender, Server-1
GUESTS: Bridget, Allison, Cathy, Sue,
Wendy, Sharon

************ In the aftermath of a small dinner pop on a lazy Sunday, a scattered handful of tables have all closed out while a 6 top winds down with after dinner cocktails. To pass the time until close, the Bartender makes a large batch of bourbon and blueberry smash and pours it into 7 glasses, one for himself and the garnished remainder for the six top all on the house. Cheers and thank-yous erupt from the ladies at table 58 after Server 1 delivers the mini-cocktails. Allison finishes her drink and returns the empty glass to the Bartender on her way to the bathroom.

Allison (A): I have to say, the food, the service. I mean, this whole experience. Impeccable! Just delightful. But the drinks. YOUR drinks. Mmm, they're phenomenal. You're amazing.

Bartender (B): OK.

{The Bartender slightly nods with a smile of humble deference as he busies himself with closing down the bar.}

A: I'm not hitting on you, if that’s what you're thinking.

B: No, no. I just don't take praise well.

A: What do they call you? There’s a name for it? What you do….A Mixologist. Am I right?

B: No. I'm JUST a bartender. I make drinks, that's all.

A: Well then Mr. Bartender. I think it should be THE Bartender. Cause you sir, you know your way around a tasty cocktail. Do you ever do private functions? Parties? Or maybe like teach a class, like some kind of house call or home visit drink making seminar?

B: No. I like to enjoy what little time I do have off.

A: That doesn't Interest you? Because you could make a killing. I know plenty of women who'd pay top dollar for your services. Myself included.

B: That's very kind. Thank you

A: I mean it, though. And I promise, I'm really not hitting on you. Lord, probably twice your age honey. Not that you're not attractive, you're a very pretty man. But you could be one of my sons. Is the bathroom this way?

B: Yes, right around the corner. keyboard_arrow_down

Allison makes her way around the bar to the bathroom. A snickering Server-1 stops closing out checks at the POS behind the bar and waits for the bathroom door to close before bursting into laughter. EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL ON BATHROOM HOLDER WITH NEON PINK CURSIVE LETTERING SAYING "D0N'T PANIC".

Server-1 (S-1): Don't panic, but I think that lady wants to take you home with her.

B: Fuck you.

S-1: Her lips say no but those crazy eyes tell a different story. You won't be the first bartender she's drugged and kidnapped. Or her last.

B: I really don't think she's hitting on me.

S-1: Why? Because of the multiple times she said so? Overcompensating much.

B: No. Just drunk.

S-1: Ok. Ok. But then why does she think you think she's hitting on you?

B: No idea. Think she mistook my reaction when she thanked me. I’d try to explain but I think it’ll only make it worse. She wouldn’t get it. Too far gone at this point.

S-1: You should've just said thank you like a good piece of jailbait ass.

B: I thought I did. Also, I’m not that much younger than them; we’re probably about the same age. I just aged better.

S-1: Well, good luck because she’s coming back around to NOT hit on you again.
 keyboard_arrow_down

The Bartender busies himself polishing glassware to avoid eye contact, but Allison stops anyways patiently waiting for him to finish before addressing him.

A: Ok. Again, still not hitting on you. Just adding praise. Drinks, food, service. AMAZING! We will definitely be back. Thank you again. But for serious, I also needed to stop and thank you for the bathroom.

B: Bathroom?

A: The all genders sign. For your bathrooms. It means so much to me. My daughter is Trans. And bathrooms are such a nightmare. Going out anywhere in public is so difficult. Planning ahead, Googling LGBTQ friendly safe spaces, wondering if it's safe, if she should go alone, if we should stand guard, having a backup bathroom plan, asking her if she can hold it. It's such an ordeal, you can’t imagine. It's hard enough for her when we know ahead of time, much less taking her to somewhere new. There's so much anxiety worrying about if there'll be facilities, and if not, then where and when to go and who might say something. All over using the toilet. Ridiculous, I know, but it's real.

B: We try to be inclusive. For everyone to feel welcome.

A: It means a lot. So thank you. I appreciate you. And we’ll definitely be back.

B: You're welcome.
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